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Smoking & Me Part I - The Teenage Tearaway

Before I discovered stop smoking hypnosis and hypnotherapy I'd spent many years as a smoker of cigarettes, roll ups, cigars and more…

I was one of the classic cases of starting out as a young teenager hoping to impress and fit in with my friends who were already smoking. I still remember my first cigarette. I had pinched it from my mum's packet and took it to school with me hidden in the spine of my pocket diary. I felt every bit like the naughty schoolboy that I was!

Lunch break came and my mates and I sneaked out to the woods behind my school to introduce me to the wonderful world of cigarettes. Even before my first cigarette, I had to swallow a few lies in order to properly prepare myself so, in my creative mind, I accepted that this would elevate me into the cool group and make me look more grown up and instantly more attractive to the opposite sex. I also liked to think of myself as a rebel so; all in all, smoking seemed to be the way forward for me!

My first proper puff, like most people, was a sadly comical affair. I remember pretending to inhale but was soon caught out by my expert mates who told me to take a proper drag.

After some mickey taking on their part, I readied myself and sucked in that first lungful of smoke and 4000 toxic chemicals.

My eyes suddenly bulged like they were trying to pop out of my head and, instantly, my body's instinctual reaction to the poison made me cough, splutter and wretch. I thought my lungs had caught fire and were trying to burst out of my chest. I couldn't even make it to the end of the cigarette. Like a failure, I had to give it to one of my companions to finish.

My mates fell about laughing at me but assured me that I could still become a smoker if I applied some will power and perseverance.

You know, many of my clients have told me that they would love to quit but they "just don't have enough will power" I can tell you right now, from my experience as a smoker and from helping people quit smoking, it takes more will power and perseverance to become a smoker than it does to quit smoking.

No one is naturally good at smoking. It takes dedication and persistence. Perhaps you remember how clumsy it felt the first few times you held that stick between your fingers or how unnatural it was to roll that tobacco up.

You see, our body's instinct is to avoid and reject things that are ultimately bad for our survival and search out more life-affirming activities. The trouble is that the instinct to avoid smoking can be confused and dulled if we repeatedly over-ride it. After a while, the repetition creates such a strong link that the habit is born.

So looking at it from this point of view, you could say that people become smokers because they don't give up easily!

The good news is your mind and body never forget what it was like before cigarettes and, if your unconscious mind understood what cigarettes were really doing to you, your desire to continue would instantly go up in smoke. That's where I can help.

 

Smoking & Me Part II - I've heard it (and probably said it) all before!

At the peak of my one-way love affair with smoking, I caught myself saying (and almost believing) things like:

"I can't go long without a cigarette"

I've since realised that I'd been able to sleep, take a long distance flight, ride my bike, go on a train journey, swim, eat a meal, go to the cinema or do any number of activities where smoking simply hadn't gate-crashed.

"They help me relax"

This is true on one level. For many smokers, inhaling cigarette smoke is the only time they get to replicate the body's natural relaxation response that deep breathing stimulates. As a non smoker, you will naturally experience this with even fuller lung capacity.

"I must have an addictive personality or genes"

You may find this hard to accept, but being a dedicated smoker means that you're a good learner. We learn habits by association. When someone starts smoking, they may have just a few here or there, but have you noticed how they begin to creep in and attach themselves to more and more activities. A nice ciggie after a meal, one with a cup of tea or during a quick work break.

As good as you are at learning, I can help you easily unlearn and un-hook these associations with hypnosis.

"Smoking is part of who I am, I can't imagine being able to give up" This is one I used to believe strongly. I had to in order to maintain my habit. I once had a good chat with a friend of mine who had never smoked and she said to me, "Levon, have you ever heard me say that not smoking is part of who I am. We are all born non smokers and we will all die non smokers. All we have is a choice of what we do in between"

"I've quit for long enough now, I can have one or two socially and it won't matter"

I now realise that I had not been fully free of the desire to smoke when I would say this.

And my personal favourite

"I'll put on weight if I stop smoking"

In fact I did put on a little weight as my body and appetite began to return to normal, but, like the majority of ex smokers, I lost any of the temporary weight gain. In fact I went on to lose over five stone after quitting, but that's another story and another service I can offer!

 

Smoking & Me Part III - The Dreaded Ex Smoker!

The first couple of times I quit, I found myself unable to stop talking about it to anyone and everyone I could corner. I bent people's ears about it to the point of irritation and, I'm ashamed to admit, became every smokers nightmare; THE DREADED EX SMOKER! Nothing can make smokers huddle together more closely and light up a cigarette than THE DREADED EX SMOKER! I would lecture them from my new found pedestal naively thinking I was helping.

I was really just showing off. But one of the things I learnt from this is that I was still too emotionally attached to cigarettes. I went back to smoking because, I thought of myself as an ex smoker rather than a non smoker. Rather than making them something I didn't care for or think about, I kept hold of them like a smoking chip on my shoulder.

 

Smoking & Me Part IV - Finally Quit Smoking forever?

Although I hadn’t discovered hypnotherapy when I stopped smoking, I now see how much easier it would have made it for me. When I had my last cigarette, over 10 years ago, I decided to be relaxed about quitting. I didn't make a big song and dance about it to friends or family and, instead of putting pressure on myself by saying I would never smoke again, I was easy with myself and just said 'I can make it through the next few minutes without smoking'

As time passed, I naturally found myself doing all the activities I used to associate with smoking without wanting to smoke.

As successful as this technique was for me, it took me about three years to get to the point where I didn't secretly want a cigarette.

I know now that if I had quit with the added boost of good, stop smoking hypnotherapy, I would have found it so much easier and not spent three years thinking about smoking.

Today, I can honestly say I don't think I will ever smoke again, but I'm wise enough to say never say never. Who needs that extra pressure?

 

 

 

The Conman, the Widow and the Ruby

Stories are a great way to talk directly to the unconscious mind and I often tell the following story to my stop smoking hypnosis clients during hypnosis.

History teaches us that some of the most successful conmen are those who invest a lot of time, money and effort up front to hook and then effortlessly reel in their victims.

I remember reading an article about one of the all time great conmen who exclusively preyed on rich divorcees or widows. His name was John, and this player was special.

This particular scoundrel would go to great lengths to study his victims beforehand to learn about their hopes, desires, vulnerabilities and fears.

His skill was being able to read the person so well, that he could expertly push exactly the right buttons in them, at the right times, to make them swallow and maintain his con without him having to try too hard. All this up front effort during the seduction phase made his ultimate goal that much easier to achieve.

In this story, John had a rich widow in his sights. He had read about the passing of her husband who had left a valuable ruby to his wife after he died.

Having selected his victim, he carefully arranged a chance encounter and made the 'first contact' with the widow to begin his calculated and flattering charm offensive. Over time, he built up her trust in him. John helped her out with any difficult times she would go through and styled himself as the only answer to all her problems. So seductive were his charms that she soon began to call him her "One, dependable island in stormy times".

He took his time, at first, getting himself more entwined into her life. He would make sure she noticed he was around whenever there was any laughter to be had and would even turn up during her more relaxed and private moments.

The widow's family didn't take too kindly to the arrival of this mysterious stranger shoehorning himself into their mother's life and treated him with suspicion and contempt. They tried to appeal to their mother's logical mind to help her see reason.

John was too clever for them though. He would keep whispering sweet little lies into the Widow's ears, manipulating her and eventually turning her against her children's "rude and intrusive behaviour".

He eventually wormed his way into her life and home where his damaging tactics became ever more covert and sustained. Once this thief had been given the keys to the house, he started to tighten his still imperceptible chokehold on the widow.

As soon he realised he could go around unnoticed, he began to prowl around her property, like a dark shadow, deciding what he liked the look of. He knew better than to start with the most valuable or expensive items. Their theft would quickly be noticed and he had his eye on the ruby.

He would steal the little things first; the little trinkets from the back of dusty drawers or stored in the basement or attic. Small objects of desire that no one would notice had gone. But John's hunger was insatiable. Like a parasite, the more he stole from his host, the hungrier he got.

He wanted everything from her. Her body, her money, her time, her attention even stealing her health and happiness were no longer enough to satisfy him.

Before long, he sensed that his activities would no longer go unnoticed. It was time for him to execute his grand and final ransacking of the widow's house before finding his next victim.

That night in bed, he peered over at the sleeping widow to check that her eyes were still closed. Convinced she was sleeping, he slipped out of the bedroom and skulked off towards the heart of her home where the large and beautiful red ruby was glimmering in the display case.

He knew that losing this precious jewel might be the end of the widow, but he didn't care. He'd taken so much by now, her usefulness to him was almost finished.

He edged through the darkness to the display case and reached out to claim his prize, but just as his eager and trembling fingers were about to smother the ruby, the room lights blazed on. Stood in front of him was the widow, shoulder to shoulder with her children.

John's look of shock was quickly replaced by his practiced smile but, to the widow, it now looked like nothing more than a mechanical leer.

"I thought you were asleep?" he chanced, "I was restless so I thought I would do some clearing up for you."

"That's funny," said the widow, "I'm here to do some clearing out too."

John, unrepentant, continued

"But what would you do without me? Who'll be there to make you laugh, who'll be there when you need a shoulder to cry on? Who's there when you want to relax? You can't do these things without me".

The widow looked at the wretch before her with genuine disappointment and sorrow "I've suspected all along, but know that my eyes are open, I can't go on with the delusion. I survived just fine before I let you in, and I can survive just fine once you're gone. I'm taking back the keys.

It's time for you to leave now" And you know what, that was the last she ever saw of John the player.